sometimes i fall asleep thinking about you by Catarine Hancock

Author:Catarine Hancock
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Central Avenue Publishing
Published: 2021-10-15T00:00:00+00:00

one time

i compared us to the sun and moon.

our brief encounters were eclipses:

beautiful and over too soon.

perhaps we were

the sun and the moon,

but instead of focusing on

how beautiful our eclipses were,

i should have focused on the way

they were so

dark.

i don’t miss you

the same way

anymore

your absence

no longer plagues me

it just sits with me

becoming less of a monster

and more of an old friend

slipping glamour

after i walked away,

i reached out with an offer of friendship

because i loved you and you were,

despite everything,

my best friend.

but you recoiled, pushing me further

and further away.

that was the first time i realized that

this thing between us wasn’t so beautiful

anymore.

i put my foot down but i loved you still,

just differently, and it infuriated you.

it was then that it became clear

we weren’t so similar, after all.

you did not want a portion

of my time, you wanted all of it.

you did not want my love

if it did not include my body.

you did not want me

if you could not have all of me.

when i was with you,

i was blind to those hard truths.

the second i stepped back from you,

even just a little bit,

everything came into focus.

the shadows lifted.

when i looked into your eyes,

i finally saw the reality of what

you had become.

where i used to see longing,

i saw greed.

where i used to see kindness,

i saw cruelty.

and where i used to see love,

i saw ownership.

i could not recognize a toxic lover yet,

but i could recognize a toxic friend.

when your hold on me faltered,

so did your mask.

and once it slipped,

there was no way for you

to put it back on.

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